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Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called “The Great American Novel”.( from Wikipedia)


“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” ― Mark Twain

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” ― Mark Twain

you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite
you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.” ― Mark

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.” ― Mark Twain

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.” ― Mark Twain

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many
of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome,
charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in
one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” ― Mark Twain

“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.” ― Mark Twain

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” ― Mark Twain

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” ― Mark Twain

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” ― Mark Twain

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ― Mark Twain

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you
like people or hate them than to travel with them.” ― Mark Twain

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.” ― Mark Twain

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.” ― Mark Twain

“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only
one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.” ― Mark Twain

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” ― Mark Twain

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” ― Mark Twain

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” ― Mark Twain

“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.” ― Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” ― Mark Twain

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” ― Mark Twain

“After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the
beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside
it without her.” ― Mark Twain

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
― Mark Twain

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” ― Mark Twain

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for
the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The
mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the
serpent.” ― Mark Twain

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm
to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is
poured.” ― Mark Twain

“The Bible has noble poetry in it… and
some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand
lies.” ― Mark Twain

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will
throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to
commit more.” ― Mark Twain

“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.” ― Mark Twain

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.” ― Mark Twain

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.” ― Mark Twain

“Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of
the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it
would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” ― Mark Twain

“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.” ― Mark Twain

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” ― Mark Twain

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” ― Mark Twain

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
― Mark Twain

“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.” ― Mark Twain

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.” ― Mark Twain

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” ― Mark Twain

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ― Mark Twain

“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.” ― Mark Twain

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.” ― Mark Twain

“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.” ― Mark Twain

“You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches,
demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from
the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and
primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?” ―
Mark Twain

“The easy confidence with which I know another man’s
religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” ― Mark

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” ― Mark Twain

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ― Mark Twain

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ” ― Mark Twain

“History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.” ― Mark Twain

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” ― Mark Twain

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.” ― Mark Twain

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken
fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too
much.” ― Mark Twain

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his
umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins
to rain.” ― Mark Twain

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ― Mark Twain

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.” ― Mark Twain

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.” ― Mark Twain

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” ― Mark Twain

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” ― Mark Twain

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” ― Mark Twain

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” ― Mark Twain

“′Classic′ – a book which people praise and don’t read.” ― Mark Twain

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” ― Mark Twain

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ― Mark Twain

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” ― Mark Twain

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.” ― Mark Twain

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people
always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can
become great.” ― Mark Twain

“In a good bookroom you feel in
some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all
the books through your skin, without even opening them.” ― Mark Twain

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your
editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” ―
Mark Twain

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” ― Mark Twain

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” ― Mark Twain

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” ― Mark Twain

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.” ― Mark Twain

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” ― Mark Twain

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” ― Mark Twain

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the
common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?” ― Mark

“The difference between the almost right word and the
right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the
lightning bug and the lightning.” ― Mark Twain

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.” ― Mark Twain

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.” ― Mark Twain

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” ― Mark Twain

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of
years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest
inconvenience from it.” ― Mark Twain

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.” ― Mark Twain

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.” ― Mark Twain

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.” ― Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand
to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” ― Mark Twain

“Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.” ― Mark Twain 

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